No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
