Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
