We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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