It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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