What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
