i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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