is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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