CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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