Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
