That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
