remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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