we have pet lesbian snakes
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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