I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
