so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
