first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize