I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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