remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
