You work out of a Hotel?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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