R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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