Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
