I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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