just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
