She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
