In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
