Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
