were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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