I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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