didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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