I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
