Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Pants are for mortals
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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