Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
