just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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