Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
