I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Randomize
