I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
