I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
