so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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