I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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