Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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