There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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