Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
