I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
