lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
