Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
