Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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