I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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