u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
