so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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