Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
