i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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