The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
