I bet he comes in French.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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