HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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