Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.