Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.

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  (202): Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain. http://tfl.nu/eu7i
  Replies (2) Good night (1237) Bad night (594)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

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  (217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/5lx0
  Replies (34) Good night (2131) Bad night (706)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.

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  (224): it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday. http://tfl.nu/m5qz
  Replies (11) Good night (794) Bad night (2697)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

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  (206): got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache http://tfl.nu/qh4z
  Replies (23) Good night (4497) Bad night (1228)
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  (909): View more from California

  dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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  (909): dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting. http://tfl.nu/kj58
  Replies (11) Good night (685) Bad night (3539)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.

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  (516): Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it. http://tfl.nu/st29
  Replies (22) Good night (4141) Bad night (813)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.

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  (512): It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad. http://tfl.nu/27g7
  Replies (24) Good night (847) Bad night (6337)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?

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  (904): So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer? http://tfl.nu/mn6g
  Replies (14) Good night (5617) Bad night (1810)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.

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  (678): I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club. http://tfl.nu/jmao
  Replies (13) Good night (1141) Bad night (602)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.

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  (701): in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head. http://tfl.nu/rwbn
  Replies (11) Good night (2737) Bad night (554)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.

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  (718): I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best. http://tfl.nu/yss2
  Replies (5) Good night (1026) Bad night (424)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.

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  (330): im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me. http://tfl.nu/dfjj
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (286)
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  (619): View more from California

  Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?

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  (619): Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit? http://tfl.nu/j01e
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (340)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?

  (1306): View more from

  HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!

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  (306): just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you? (1306): HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?! http://tfl.nu/7mrm
  Replies (3) Good night (802) Bad night (278)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?

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  (586): I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out? http://tfl.nu/ot5v
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (635)

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