yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have aggressive nipples.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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