Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more

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  (856): I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more http://tfl.nu/kc45
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (1946)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

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  (305): nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs http://tfl.nu/o6hz
  Replies (27) Good night (5387) Bad night (849)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.

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  (360): He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one. http://tfl.nu/lrzn
  Replies (9) Good night (7171) Bad night (1153)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.

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  (647): I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms. http://tfl.nu/aw2i
  Replies (38) Good night (7456) Bad night (1698)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.

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  (563): I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson. http://tfl.nu/yssr
  Replies (9) Good night (1626) Bad night (2752)
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  (310): View more from California

  Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.

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  (310): Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius. http://tfl.nu/qlyj
  Replies (30) Good night (1839) Bad night (4564)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'

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  (615): When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.' http://tfl.nu/622f
  Replies (5) Good night (2242) Bad night (957)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.

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  (208): Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/191q
  Replies (18) Good night (916) Bad night (5564)
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  (818): View more from California

  you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.

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  (818): you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel. http://tfl.nu/uvlc
  Replies (11) Good night (2798) Bad night (854)
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  (661): View more from California

  There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

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  (661): There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind. http://tfl.nu/kx07
  Replies (9) Good night (1825) Bad night (697)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.

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  (360): I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show. http://tfl.nu/dv9s
  Replies (7) Good night (602) Bad night (882)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.

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  (248): Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball. http://tfl.nu/g33p
  Replies (4) Good night (897) Bad night (1624)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.

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  (714): She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING. http://tfl.nu/p2v7
  Replies (13) Good night (3478) Bad night (1004)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

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  (615): Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face. http://tfl.nu/mm6o
  Replies (5) Good night (1272) Bad night (436)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport

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  (317): Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport http://tfl.nu/wqk2
  Replies (3) Good night (1073) Bad night (305)

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