come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Who did Billy Mays play for?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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