Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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  (416): He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/3lsk
  Replies (52) Good night (11600) Bad night (1278)
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  (516): View more from New York

  We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.

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  (516): We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story. http://tfl.nu/mad1
  Replies (9) Good night (6464) Bad night (1162)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel

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  (432): the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel http://tfl.nu/t4be
  Replies (18) Good night (3591) Bad night (1379)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday

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  (706): My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday http://tfl.nu/gbim
  Replies (8) Good night (5317) Bad night (1115)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.

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  (610): I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse. http://tfl.nu/qk0b
  Replies (32) Good night (1763) Bad night (16144)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.

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  (518): I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon. http://tfl.nu/pj69
  Replies (9) Good night (1339) Bad night (3572)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.

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  (203): Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka. http://tfl.nu/23cb
  Replies (5) Good night (1922) Bad night (892)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  We're knee deep in HJ's right now.

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  (217): We're knee deep in HJ's right now. http://tfl.nu/uucd
  Replies (10) Good night (1353) Bad night (648)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.

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  (713): Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery. http://tfl.nu/8vi4
  Replies (2) Good night (1076) Bad night (773)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.

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  (586): Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country. http://tfl.nu/f3mx
  Replies (3) Good night (1153) Bad night (642)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.

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  (254): I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire. http://tfl.nu/x5cn
  Replies (11) Good night (2198) Bad night (718)
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  (714): View more from California

  How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?

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  (714): How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot? http://tfl.nu/pt30
  Replies (2) Good night (1015) Bad night (407)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You texted me a picture of your face along with #help

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  (410): You texted me a picture of your face along with #help http://tfl.nu/jxdb
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (505)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?

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  (469): Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush? http://tfl.nu/eg9u
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (307)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio

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  (724): quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio http://tfl.nu/4v4l
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (291)

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