um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas