Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Boobs are out for the taking
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround