no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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