im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
