Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
