you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
