: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
