So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize