I CAN MOONWALK!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
