I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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